at my high school. This explains any grammatical or spelling mistakes; I had teachers like this. Yes, I did have “Crapo” in high school. This is not exaggeration. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

I present for your enjoyment a brief vignette of high school English class, in dramatic form:

SCENE: A classroom. Students are reading a great piece of literature.

BILLY: Hey, this story we’re reading kinda has parallels to the story of David and Goliath. Is that intentional?
CRAPO: Um, I doubt it.
BILLY: Well, [Lists a bunch of specific reasons].
CRAPO: Well, lemme call Muchiniski.
MUCHINISKI [over the phone]: Um, I’m teaching now, talk later. [Hangs up]
CRAPO: Huh. Billy, you and um… Beth, go over there and ask him.

SCENE: Another classroom.

MUCHINISKI [to BILLY and BETH]: Tell her that if she’s going to be an English teacher, she should read one of history’s most important books, the Bible. Tell her that.
BILLY and JANE: Um…
MUCHINISKI: Just tell her to call me.

SCENE: First classroom.

CRAPO [on the phone] Oh. huh. um… ok.
CRAPO [to class]: He said I should, um, read the Bible. HAHA, isn’t that cute?
JAMES [who’s apparently a vocal atheist, whom CRAPO really respects, her golden boy for the year]: Uh, yeah, even I’ve read the bible.
CRAPO: [Flushes]
JAMES: Mrs. Crapo, you can borrow mine.

UPDATE: The names were changed to be more interesting, but still protect the guilty.